One thing about me ~ I hate change.
And, I have also learned that I have to allow it. Lets face it, I like being comfortable. I like routine. But change is inevitable and it has to be allowed.
I sit here in a quiet house. Its somewhere around 3AM. I've got a candle lit, watching the flame dance. Just thinking. Enjoying the stillness. No phones ringing. Just simply, quiet.
I had a busy day at the massage therapist and chiropractor. And no, its not as lovely as it sounds. Its actually quiet painful for somebody with Fibromyalgia. I am currently working on getting healthier and this is truly one of those places where the old saying, "No pain, no gain" is applied! Right now, my body feels "alive." My nerves are not quieting down enough for me to be able to relax and sleep. But as I sit here, my mind keeps going back to changes.
Last week, our son and his bride to be, closed on their new home. Beautiful home, I might add. We were down there this evening for a visit, getting ideas of things they need, etc. Took me back to our first shopping trip on the way home from our honeymoon. Our first grocery run was $70. I cried!!!! LOL That was everything from our broom to sugar. The expense of starting a new home now.....WHOA!!! ( By the way, I still cry when I see what we're spending at the grocery store! LOL )
But those changes. Be big, or small, the ripple effect can be overwhelming at times. Changes can be for good. They can be for bad. But which ever it is, you have to make the best of it. The biggest change here is the obvious ~ becoming empty nesters.
As the boys were growing up, me and my husband, lovingly referred to as Mountain Man, we made a promise to ourselves to always make ourselves a priority. Lots of other family and friends didn't agree with that. They say that your children come first. It isn't exactly that you place one in importance over the other but you make them equal. We saw many marriages fail too when they made the children top priority and their marriage put on the back burner. For the very reason of where we are now. Our youngest will be moving out. Leaving just the 2 of us. Just like in the very beginning. We didn't want to be here and look at each other and say, "Who are you?" I think we have done pretty good. Part of us looks forward to time alone. Getting to know each other again and just being "us." But the other part, we're going to miss the part of hearing, "Mom, I'm home!" Or, "Dad can you help me with this?" And its the little things. With our son, its his socks left around the house. Its the little dinosaur that we have hid from each other all over the house for years. Even the oldest, after he moved out, he would visit and then I would realize after he left, that he had gotten all my spoons and put them in the freezer! It's little things. Fun things. There isn't enough of them anymore.
Because of change.
Such a small word.
[
And it does just that!
But, we adapt. We have to. Even if we dislike it. You make the best of it.
"Progress is impossible without change." George Benard Shaw
How do you handle change? Do you accept it? Look forward to it? Cringe at it like I do? I'd love to hear how to deal with it!
this period of change was overwhelmingly difficult for me. Jeff and I did not deal with issues for years, just swept them under the carpet, kicked the can down the road. we were left with someone we loved but didn't like much. it took a lot of hollering and crying but we worked through it and are settled into our new happy. going into this period of life was the hardest thing for me to do in my life. my kids were my purpose for living. if we had addressed issues all along and worked harder at marriage i believe that i would have embraced empty nesting a whole lot more!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that you both worked thru it tho. Look at the payoff!!
DeleteAnd I agree...my boys were my purpose. It was hard enough to finally graduate them from high school. Homeschooling was ingrained in me! Even when Jake moved out, it wasn't as hard cause we still had B at home. But now....its hitting home. Its like I'm not a mom anymore.
Change is something that can be good or bad. I sometimes resist it other times embrace it. You both will enjoy the empty nest after you adjust to it. So happy for the son starting out his life with his bride and for you and Mountain Man.
ReplyDeleteWe need hobbies!! LOL
DeleteI think right now, its the feeling of being lonely. I know it'll pass tho.
I am not a fan of change either. Ryan talks about moving out, but I hope he doesn't. It would break my heart! Mark is not a big talker and I would be very lonely. You and MM have such a great, wonderful relationship, but that is not us. We don't argue or anything...we just don't have long talks. How exciting for Brett and his fiancee! Their new house is really beautiful!
ReplyDeleteSusan, I'm sorry that your marriage is "quiet." But I guess that good in one aspect tho! I'd rather know you 2 were quiet than constantly arguing! Do you 2 have a hobby or something you can do together?
DeleteNo we don't. I tried to think of something we could enjoy together, and I can't think of anything. We share family, life, and work, but no hobbies. Before he retires in a few years, I really should figure out something we can enjoy together. Now we are just so busy. We don't think about it.
DeleteAnd its so easy for life to get in the way! I think we are all guilty of that. Yeah, before he retires, you need a game plan! Do yall like fishing? DIY projects? Brainstorm!! lol
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